Love is Not a Bargain
A bargain isn’t love
Love is not a bargain
“Love is always bestowed as a gift ~ freely, willingly and without expectation.” – Leo Buscaglia
A review of word definitions indicates that when one is giving something in order to get something back, it’s called a bargain. When one is awash in warmth and happiness when seeing or just thinking about someone, that’s love.
It’s either one or the other. You can be very nice about whatever bargain you’re making. It might even end up benefitting both parties. That’s called an intelligent bargain. It’s not called love.
Need vs. Love
Falseness being the mode o’ the present day, we’ve come to create and to expect bargains in the name of love. For that reason, Erich Fromm feels free to use the words ‘immature love’ to describe base self-benefit in the following quote. Nonetheless, he gets the general point across:
“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’”
yours foolie would replace the word “immature” with the word “false”, and eliminate the element of need from that of true love altogether, replacing it with “want.” Insofar as “need” enters the picture at all, as far as she is concerned, the situation has already degraded into something lower than love.
Julia Roberts said it this way:
“You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.”
‘Kay, now there’s a definition yours foolie can comfortably get behind.
“Love does not dominate; it cultivates”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is when we, by systematically eliminating counterfeits from life and consciousness, win through to the actual experience of loving others, we get some lovely surprises.
First, it’s the best feeling we’ve ever felt. Bar none. In fact, it’s better than all the others put together.
That’s why Khalil Gibran wrote:
“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
But that first benefit to he or she who loves is followed by an abundance, a shower, a veritable cornucopia of further benefits. Can you think of what some of those might be? Others have…
There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart.
The perks o’ love
To extend loving behavior to a loving recipient is a powerful force for self-healing…
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Bern Williams
… inspiring of courage, enhancing to strength…
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
For what lover has not felt that uprushing increase of joyful energy?
“Love is (a) splendid triggering of human vitality.” – Jose Ortega y Gasset
“A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.”
Makes us strong and vital, happy, healthy, knowledgeable and wise? AND benefits the other person too?
There’s a bargain better than any you can ever get by starting out to make a bargain.
Isn’t that funny?…
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.